From Dana: This is a guest post by Kelly Gurnett. Kelly runs the inspiring and entertaining blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook and hire her services as a blogger here. I love the spunk Kelly mixes in with the great tips at her blog, and I was so excited to learn that she’s finally working on a novel! I hope you’ll all keep an eye on her this year, and let her know we’re looking forward to seeing the project come to fruition!
Eighteen years (approximately). That’s how long the idea for my Grand Novel has been kicking around in my head, writing and rewriting itself until I’ve lost all track of which version is which and where the story is ultimately supposed to end up.
I’ve got a whole collection of excuses for why this is. The reasons why I shouldn’t finally commit my story to paper are plenty — and sound logical enough (which is why they’re so tempting). But this story has been prodding at the back of my mind for so long now it’s time to finally take one giant gulp and dive in, for god’s sake. Otherwise, I may never do it.
And that is simply not acceptable.
So here goes…
Why I Shouldn’t Write My Novel (And Why I’m Going to Anyway)
1. I have absolutely no idea what the frack it’s about.
Oh, I know what it’s thematically about—revolution and beauty and love and all that stuff—but some of the biggest, most seemingly important items are terrifyingly blank. I have particular scenes very firmly in mind, and I know my character like BFFs (you would, too, if you’d been hanging with them for nearly two decades). But the overall plot line and end game are a mystery to me. Those are kinda big things.
But, if I’ve learned anything from attempting NaNoWriMo, it’s that knowing where your story is going is highly overrated, if not completely foolish. Because even if you do have an airtight outline, the characters will wind up going where they please, and all you can do is follow along as fast as you can. It’s not my job to dictate the story, just to document it as it unfolds.
2. It’s about 18 years too late.
The glorious story in my head is, for all intents and purposes, a fairy tale dystopian YA book. There’s a girl and a power she’s fighting and two guys both trying to win her, and…stop me if you’re heard this one before. What can I possibly write that won’t be a sad amateur wannabe of The Hunger Games and the Matched trilogy and about a zillion other, much more effective franchises?
But, every story ever told has already been written a zillion times over in different forms. Just like I tell the bloggers I advise, there is no topic you can cover that hasn’t already been covered, sometimes by bloggers much larger than you. But no one else can cover it the way you can. No one else has your perspective or your voice. If this story wants to be written, then who am I to hide in a corner and say “not it”?
3. It doesn’t match my “brand.”
I’ve worked hard to build up an online presence through my blog and my freelance work. And a dystopian YA fantasy novel isn’t exactly going to skyrocket my value as a blogger trying to extricate herself from the 9-5. It doesn’t fit the current portfolio.
But, who the hell cares if it does? I’m allowed to have side hobbies, and if writing a silly fantasy novel is one of them, so be it. As long as the story doesn’t blatantly fly in the face of the professional image I’ve constructed, it doesn’t matter if it can’t be packaged neatly in a “Cordelia 101” product bundle. (Who’d want to be so one-note, anyway?)
4. Once it’s on paper, it is guaranteed, without exception, to suck.
This is, far and away, the biggest hurdle—and the one that has kept me dragging my feet for such a ridiculous amount of time.
The thing about keeping something in your head forever is that it gets to maintain that nice, pretty little halo of perfection around it. (Much like that guy you really, really like but don’t have the nerve to approach, because OMG, then he might talk to you, and then what?) In my head, my little story can always be “the Grand Novel that could be.” Once on paper, it will inevitably become the story that is — a story I’m working on just like any other project, not nearly as fantastic as it sounded in my head. It will suck. A lot. I will mess it up. And, as much as I polish and chisel and sand it, it will still, in the end, never be quite as amazing as it could have been when it was only an idea.
But, if I do not exhume this thing, if it only ever stays “the Grand Novel that could be” and never actually is, I know for a fact that I will regret it for the rest of my life.
And that overrules all other objections.
Best of luck, Kelly! You’re not the only one wrestling with getting a project started for these reasons — hopefully this helps kick a few butts in gear ;)
Is there an item on your Bucket List you’ve been putting off that you can get started on in 2013?
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Featured image by Kelly Cookson (Creative Commons)
Pingback: QUIT: Not Writing My Novel | Cordelia Calls It Quits
Thanks, Dana, and thank you for having me! It’s a petrifying thing to have finally decided to do this, but I don’t think the characters would let me drag my feet any longer. They’ve been mutinying in the back of my mind for a while now. I hope this might prod a few more wannabe novelists into listening to their stories and just going for it!
Thanks for sharing, Kelly! I hope so, too :) Sometimes you need a kick in the butt to shove those excuses aside.
PS – I’m so nerdily happy by your use of the word “frack” :)
Pandas are kind of like that too. One day they came knocking on the door and said “This is the day of the Panda” or something like that, and then I had to obey. Great post (and no, I haven’t forgotten I’m writing something for your blog. a couple of other people snuck in ahead of you. :o) I’m working on it…um..not right this SECOND, but really soon. honest.
No worries, “Bob.” :) I totally understand. My own to do list keeps expanding like a panda with a platter full of cuppycakes and no supervision. There’s a place for you at my blog whenever you like.
Bless you, my dear…you and your wonderful panda hat! I got one for my birthday. I shall have to send you a picture.
I love the honesty of your post, Kelly. And I, too, have a couple of novels “marinating” in the back of my head—”marinating” being writerly slang for “I’ve been shamefully procrastinating like no other.”
Yeah…I should get to writing those. My poor mouse character’s been stuck in that soggy rosebush for seven years.
Me too! Kelly’s determination motivates me to finish one this year, though.
Oh no! Save the mouse!
I know without a doubt that once my characters find themselves on paper (or computer screen), they will stare soulfully back up at me and say, “Really, Kell? THIS is how you’re writing us? We’re better than this…”
But the more I write, the closer I know I’ll come to capturing them and their story. And writing an imperfect representation of them is still better than going to my grave with my poor characters buried in my head along with me.
Now, go see to that poor rodent! :)
My most favorite book in the entire world is a YA first novel that also happens to be a retelling of old fairy tale. The book is “Beauty”. The author? Robin McKinley.
Yay writing!
I am adding that to my “books to read to inspire me to keep pursuing this” list. :)
Damn it, Kelly. Will you and I stop thinking alike?
I’ve been doing this goal-setting thing lately, and in between the starting-my-own-business and beating-my-panic-brain and all the other stuff, the novel keeps creeping in. I keep re-working interactions, having ideas for scenes, all that sort of stuff.
I think I’m just going to have to do what you decided to do and get the hell out of its way…
Thanks for having Kelly on, by the way, Dana! I saw your post about toxic mindsets on Making A Living Writing just recently. It was great!
Thanks, Rob! I appreciate you reading :) What a small digital world we’re all in.
Exactly, “just get the hell out of its way.” You’ve captured it perfectly.
Even if we can only get it in chunks and pieces, even if they’re not perfect, they need to be told. They wouldn’t keep prodding at our minds if they didn’t. Why have they chosen us as their tellers? At least in my case, lord knows. But it’s not my place to say (or to protest). It’s just my place to do. :)
Love this post and your fresh, witty writing Kelly. I’ve delved back into a children’s fantasy I started when I was about twelve with no knowledge of writing whatsoever! Having set it aside for a few decades, I decided the idea was worth another crack – with a complete rewrite ;)
Good move, Gemma! That’s tough to do, with so many years of knowledge between you and the original manuscript. Good for you for picking it back up.
Can I tell you a secret, Gemma? I was around 12 when MY novel idea first came to me–and I wrote out chapters and chapters and chapters, all of which I’m sure were terrible and all of which have been lost to time after several moves. But, I was writing it out, and I learned several things about the characters and the story in doing so. A lot of it is going to be totally scrapped in this new “reboot,” but knowing I did it once (when I was freakin’ 12!) makes me feel better encouraged that of course I can do it again (this time with slightly better writing chops). :)
Thanks for sharing this as it’s exactly what I’ve been going through. But, in my case, I didn’t have an idea just knew I wanted to write a book. The idea crystallized this last month and I’ve started mapping it out. This doesn’t mean that it will ever get to print but I decided I couldn’t just keep being afraid to try. So, I’m doing something.
Exactly – way to go!
Awesome! It really is all about just delving in and letting the story reveal itself to you. When I went through NaNoWriMo, that became very clear to me. I had NO freakin’ idea what I was writing about, and certainly no idea where it was going, only that I had this deadline breathing down my neck so I Just Had To Write Words And Keep Writing Them.
Under that (admittedly) forced situation, some interesting gems came out of the story I was telling, completely to my surprise. So just imagine what can happen when you’re letting things flow more naturally.
And yeah, that whole “getting to print” thing. Not even on my radar. In my wildest dreams, of course, because what writer wouldn’t dream that, but not the driving force. The driving force is just to bring the story into being and realize that I can in fact do it.
“I know for a fact that I will regret it for the rest of my life… And that overrules all other objections.”
Story of my life. When making a decision I usually imagine how I’d feel about it if I were to die in two years time… and although I usually come up with the right answer, it’s never easy to get going.
I had a mute boy that needed to break his penguin friend out of the zoo, and by the time I finished the storyboard, my animator and I had lost our artist.
I found much of the issue was that I had spent so much time piecing it all together in my head, I overlooked some obvious issues and it wasn’t until I started living out the story, that I really got into the boy’s head. From there the story kept changing I don’t know how many times, until finally it was better than I had imagined it in my head.
Great post, good luck.