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Two months into my new life in Florida, and I'm trying to do it differently. I'm trying to avoid falling into the same bloggity, markety cycle that made me want to leave the internet forever just months ago.

I'm trying to just enjoy my job and live my life sort of like a normal person. I don't have to worry about my brand or the next convoluted attempt to make something of myself. The freedom of working for someone else is I no longer have to make all the plans. Sometimes, I'm not at work, and I can just breathe and do whatever I want.

But it seems all I want to do is write a blog.

There's other stuff, too. I want to continue to write things that aren't for work; I expected that. Without the pressure to make money or grow a brand (because my job pays me, and I'm grateful to become part of their brand), I can write stupid things. 

Stupid things have floated around in my head for years, but when I have to make the choice to spend time on that novel, script, essay, whatever, or to develop a workshop that will pay next month's rent... well.

Now I don't have to choose. I leave work at 5 p.m. knowing I've got rent covered regardless of the writing I choose to do -- or not to do -- between 5 p.m. and 9 a.m. tomorrow.

That's why I've finally put A Writer's Bucket List on hiatus. It's why I've set up this website to be a static showcase of who I am. It's why I've started writing self-indulgent newsletters again -- the kind that couldn't possibly sell anything useful, but allow me to start 500 conversations about my life.

I thought I wanted to stop publishing for a while. I get plenty of bylines at work, and I don't have a clear direction for whatever side piece I'll attach myself to next. So why share content?

Apparently, because I have to.

As much as any writer is compelled to write, I am compelled to blog. I guess I am a blogger through and through. I don't intend to promote this, and I won't even publicize the link to make it simple to find. This is just how I write.

I write plenty of stuff that doesn't get published. This need to blog isn't because I'm obsessed with the proverbial sound of my own voice. I get all that out in my diary, in daily pages of writing that sit in untouched docs, in half-baked manuscripts for novels and in scripts for sitcoms I have no business attempting to write.

And it's not about the audience. I have access to that through work, through AWBL, through Huffington Post. I get more validation daily on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and Snapchat than any blog post offers. I'll write this message in an email, and it will be read by hundreds more than this post.

Still, I'm drawn to the blog.

I like the way it feels even as I write this. I like the way it looks sitting on a web page. I like the simple chronicle of my life and work a blog creates, that it's neatly organized in categories with tags and links and accessible by search and sharable with the click of a button.

I love how alive a personal blog is, in a way no other writing can match. Yes, I love to hold a book in my hands. I like to see my name on a national website. I like to be paid for my writing. But I also really, really love to write a blog.

And I'm addicted to the possibilities a blog offers.

It could be everything, and it will probably be nothing, and I can do anything I want with it.

I came to blogging a little late. By the time I started, people had already figured out they could make money doing it, so that's what I figured I would do. All the advice on "how to blog" was geared towards growing an audience and monetizing a blog or the associated brand.

I missed out on the MySpace and LiveJournal days -- when blogging was a personal, maybe social activity. I just grazed the days when Facebook notes were a thing, but quickly launched into Blogger and on into the world of Wordpress.

Now blogging is this business model. I work for a company that is, almost entirely, a blog! I was born in 1986, so I can get away with saying this is astounding.

But it doesn't have to be a whole big thing. A blog can still just be this little web-log, a chronicle of a girl's thoughts, a writer's journey, a traveler's stops. With no ambitions to build a platform, be seen or grow a brand. Simply to write.

Plus, I've never used Weebly before, and I like to do things I haven't done.