sometimes funny, occasionally nude.

Mostly, I'm a writer.

If Resumes Looked Like Job Listings


I'm well-rounded and good at a lot of things based on my experience, and I'd love YOU to hire me!

I'm looking for a competitive salary, so please don't even respond if you pay under $50K/year. Bonus points (but not req.): retirement plan, health ins., paid holidays, dog-friendly office and a sabbatical every three years.


A Company Similar to Yours, Senior Intelligence Superstar, 2010-15

Responsibilities included:

  • A sparkling personality
  • Ability to think quick on my feet
  • Strong command of written English
  • Special Projects, as assigned

Several Other Positions, 2000-2010

Experience as fits this position. Will discuss with the right recruiter.


Please add your information to the form on my website, as well as upload a document containing the exact same information. PDF or .doc preferred, .docx will not be accepted.

References available upon request.

12 Valuable Skills That Should Probably Be on My Resume

10 Fun Facts That Probably Reveal Something About Who I Am